Matt
Alpaka Gear: Now You See It, Now You Never Will
Ordered a bag from Alpaka and I’m starting to think it’s made from the rarest material on Earth: pure imagination. The Royal Mail tracking number they gave me is as real as Bigfoot—just vibes, no delivery. Tried contacting Alpaka directly, but you’ve got a better chance of getting a response from a Magic 8 Ball. Turns out, the only way to make them notice you exist is by publicly roasting them. So here I am, lighting the bonfire. To whoever runs customer service: maybe try responding to emails before people have to throw hands via a Trustpilot review. And please, for the love of all things fuzzy, don’t bother replying with “We apologise for any inconvenience”. I don’t want corporate limbo-speak. I want my damn bag. Change your attitude, sharpen up the service, and who knows maybe your gear will stop vanishing into the alpaka dimension. Until then, I remain: bagless, faithless, and mildly furious.
Response from ALPAKAMay 13, 2025
Hey Matt – definitely not the experience we want you to have, and we hear your frustration loud and clear. Please reach out to us at [[email protected]] with your order number, and we’ll look into this right away. We’re here to sort it out and make sure your gear makes it out of the "ALPAKA dimension" and into your hands ASAP. Appreciate your patience, and looking forward to fixing this for you.




