Chris H.
Seeking needs a cultural makeover
Seeking markets itself as an elite dating platform centered around mutually beneficial relationships. In practice, the experience feels far less refined and far more misleading than advertised. A surprising number of the men on the platform appear to be older divorcees still navigating unresolved personal lives. Many profiles present themselves as successful and desirable, yet the expectations placed on women are often unrealistic and highly one-sided. There seems to be an underlying belief that women should arrive with near-perfect physiques, endless admiration, and a willingness to fit quietly into someone else’s already established life. What becomes clear very quickly is that the dynamic on this platform often revolves around *what the woman can provide*, rather than any genuine sense of mutual exchange. The tone of many interactions feels transactional, self-focused, and oddly entitled. It is not uncommon to encounter men who expect companionship, attention, and flexibility while offering very little curiosity about the woman’s goals or desires. One conversation in particular captured this imbalance perfectly. I spoke with a divorced man with children who said he wanted a partner willing to embrace his family. When I asked if he would support a future partner having children of her own someday, his answer was an immediate no. That level of self-interest says a lot — expecting someone to invest in your life while denying them the possibility of building their own. Another frustrating aspect of the platform is the complete lack of communication etiquette. Considering the expensive membership costs, you would assume users would at least engage with messages. Instead, many profiles remain silent. Messages go unread or unanswered indefinitely. A simple “not interested” would show basic courtesy and confirm someone actually looked at your profile. The silence suggests many users either lack social awareness or simply enjoy collecting attention without participating. Profiles themselves often feel cold, vague, and performative. Many emphasize being “extremely busy,” which raises a fair question: if someone is too busy for life, why are they on a dating app in the first place? Relationships require time, communication, and presence — none of which seem to be priorities for many users here. Ultimately, Seeking presents an image of sophistication, exclusivity, and mutually beneficial relationships. In reality, the experience frequently feels imbalanced, impersonal, and filled with individuals seeking admiration rather than connection. For an app that charges a premium price, the culture on the platform leaves a great deal to be desired.