David R.
Elvis was never in the building
So. Here’s the thing about “Elvis Evolution”. There ain’t much Elvis It’s all just a bit weird to be honest. All credit to the actors, who have a bad script convoluted around a back story of his friendship with Sam. He’s a regular throughout the night at which point we all thought this should be called “Sam’s Story”. Entry to the venue is through to Bobs diner. Tickets scanned and coloured wristband issued. Timing is tight. By the time you get here and order a drink your colour is being called. 60 seconds later is the final call. Drink up ! The fact that you’ve just paid 16 quid for a drink you can’t take with you is ignored Act one. The NBC studios. A strange room. Like being at primary school as a parent and walking round looking at the kids work. Quite surreal really. Cue the actors. To be honest the story was hard to follow but the gist is that Elvis is locked in his dressing room and won’t come out. “shall we all shout together Children ?…Wake up Elvis!” In comes Sam to save the day. Quite apart for the fact that they hadn’t seen each other in 20 years and were childhood friend for a fraction of that ….my money would have been on Priscilla being a better bet. But hey ho. The end of the act was a surreal doors opening steam bellowing moment. We all thought the same thing “Stars in their Eyes!” We half expected the “Tonight Matthew In going to be …” moment. To be honest it would have made the night. A good Elvis act and we would have been happy (er) Act two. The train to Tupello. Part Disney ride, part bad LSD trip. I actually have no words for this. Just imagine spending thirty minutes being bombarded with random scenes and images. Hyper loud with acting interspersed. At one point I feared that we were in a CIA mind control experiment. My wife actually walked out and was then ushered back in “you must be brainwashed”. Still no sign of Elvis by the way Act three. We’re all now shell shocked, PTSD’d and have had our senses overloaded to the extreme. Time for a drink ! The Tahiti bar is as it sounds. Hawaiian themed cocktails. If you like overpriced, sickly sweet and tropical. Here’s your place. Again you’re drinking against the clock. “Hurry up and drink the shows starting”. So bar closes and he’s back ! Yes it’s Sam for more backstory. As an aside there is a genuine cardboard cutout of Elvis in the corner for that all important selfie. Although photo’s and videos are forbidden (technically) By now some of our party had got lost and found the Nirvana of the after party. A Valhalla for the brave who have endured the trials before. Quite annoyed they found a short cut but our time would come ! Act 4 - the closing act. Here we go again. Brainwashed, sugar overloaded and herded like lambs to the slaughter into a “studio” to watch Elvis perform. By perform what I mean is Elvis on a screen with a three piece (live) band performing. All credit to the band they were actually quite good. But Elvis on a video ? Really ? Is this all you have ? Yes apparently. And then , it was over. Just as surreal as it had began. Elvis is dead, long live the king. Encores from the ensemble, shouts of “no more !” from the crowd. A heavy security presence in this room. No cameras allowed, no videos. No abusing the staff. The inmates are clearly not to revolt. And then the after party. In our minds the best bit. Not worth the 75 quid and if we’ve had paid the top 300 pounds price we would be livid. That being said it was the epitome of the British bulldog spirt. Think Dunkirk, think Waterloo, we’ve all suffered together and have a shared trauma. Let’s dance our troubles away. Okay the drinks are pricy, the dance floor Tiny and the (very capable) band play the same eight songs on rotation but if you throw caution to the wind, pack up your troubles and dance like no one’s watching, I promise you you’ll have a ball We felt we owed it to all of us. Some people have not only paid 300 pounds a ticket to go here but incurred hotel and travel costs. We all now know the promised holograms did not form part of the show. It unfair to compare with better shows. ABBA is on another planet but that cost 140 million to put on and needs its own purpose built arena. Now that’s how it should be done and if anyone is brave enough to do this with the king. Then you have a winner. Would we go back ? Of course not. Ultimately we’ve paid 75 quid each to go to a party where you still have to buy drinks. Was it a laugh ? Yes. But sometimes for the wrong reasons It will of course be cancelled. There’s so much negativity around it, it’s only a matter of time. All I would say though is don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. As they said back in Vietnam. “You don’t know man, you weren’t there !” In one concise line “it’s not ABBA Voyage“, more like “Elvis Bon voyage”. He never really was even in the building


